Southern Hospitality

Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit an elderly friend.  My friend is an elegant southern lady and we had a great visit, but the point of this story is the southern hospitality experience.   My friend's daughter brought us iced tea in cutglass glasses and small cookies all of which were presented on a lovely napkin covered tray.  We chatted for a while and then went outside to view my friend's flower garden.  The afternoon felt like a chapter from F. Scott Fitzgerald without the emotional angst.  I absolutely loved it.  It took me back to memories of my mother and her church circle/sorority/club meetings.

 First we cleaned the house from top to bottom just in case someone looked under my bed and discovered a dust bunny!  One never knows what club women will do, after all!  Then came the cooking.  Finger sandwiches were a must.  When I first heard the term I was horrified that anyone would want to eat a finger-shaped sandwich.  Imagine my releif when I found that a finger sandwich was just bread without the crust cut into pretty shapes with some kind of filling other than peanutbutter and jelly!  Next came the baking of cookies or possibly cake.  Usually my brother and I were in charge of cookie baking.  He was older than I so he was the chief chef while I was only allowed to stir.  Then a trip to the grocery in town was required to secure mints and mixed nuts.  Finally just before the guests were to arrive coffee was perked.  We lived in the midwest therefore sweet tea was not an option.  Now all of this deliciousness was very artfully arranged on a set of glass plates. They are oval with an indentation for the glass cup.  According to my mother these plates were absolutely required equipment for any clubwoman worth her salt!  I believe there was a certain amount of one-up-manship among the women regarding their plates.    At the appointed time the women  arrived at our house in hats and gloves; no one would even consider being late.

So how does all of this relate to yesterday?  I have to wonder if women in the generations below me have the desire  to continue this idea of hospitality.  Do they have a supply of pretty napkins on hand for just such occasions?  I still have Mother's plates and cups along with several serving pieces, but I usually fall back on paper plates, etc.  Mother would be horrified!  If I haven't been good at modeling hostess-like behavior, will my daughter be motivated to learn?  Do women even have time to devote to entertaining other ladies for an afternoon or do they just meet at the local restaurant?  I hope southern hospitality isn't becoming a lost art just as I hope visiting isn't becoming a lost art.  My challenge to anyone who reads this is to visit someone in person, not on facebook.  Then get some pretty napkins, make a sandwhich or two and share your elegance with another woman.  Perhaps we can revive this small bit of gentility.